The peril of Pau vs. Pão

I like bread. I mean really who doesn't? So, when I arrived here I was quick to notice that my new neighbors, aka the Brazilians, like bread too. There are bakeries in every commercial, and in every store. I also have notorious tendency to be the first person in a group to really botch stuff up and humiliate myself. So, given my love of all things carbo-licious I went to google translate and learned the word for bread to be Pão. So, trying to be independent, I went to the bakery a few times and ordered bread. pão de francês, pão de queijo, etc. I did notice that I had some quizzical and sometimes down right mean looks however I just thought it was because I was a gringa or something.

Fast forward a few days when I was at the hippie fair. My good buddy, aka HR director, Dival, was telling us a couple of words to be careful with.

"Be careful when you pronounce the word for bread" he said, and with that an alarm went off in my brain.
"Why is that" I asked.

Then he proceeded to tell me that the word for bread and the word for um, how should I say it...slang for PENIS look like they would sound exactly the same. Yep, of course that means every time I went to the bakery I was ordering: French penis, Cheese penis etc. I mean you see where this is going right?

So, just to differentiate:
Pau - Pronounced Pow (like the words that pop up over Batman as he beats up the bad guy) is actually the word for: wood, sticks, etc. you see where the slang comes in. ;)
Pão - Pronounced Pouw (with a nasal inflection) is Bread

I now have lost the strange looks at the Jesus bakery when I order bread however, this little wealth of knowledge is certainly going in the Newbie guide for next year. And, if you ever come to Brazil, and Im not with you call me so I can walk you through this. You can't say you haven't been warned.

Keep it classy Brasilia!!!